4 May 2023

Why too much will Never be Enough

Author Fiona Brown YOUTopia WELLbeing

How often have you thought….. when I do this course, buy that program, follow this routine, then I’ll feel better/ready/happier/more accomplished?

We are human beings yet we spend most of our waking hours as human doings.
I can’t count the number of clients (mainly woman) who reach out to me because they feel overwhelmed, stuck, not enough, tired, stressed, and a myriad of other crappy feelings that cause them to lose their way in life and in business.

When I turned 40 years old, I was feeling this way. I came to a fork in the road. I was well-respected and very accomplished in the field I worked in, but also under supported by a dysfunctional bureaucracy. My office was 130km from home, I covered 25% of NSW and was the only person working in my specialty in the whole area. I was also wearing many other hats as mother of 2, wife, volunteer, the ‘go to’ person when friends needed a hand, living in a rural community with no family support other than my husband. I was worn out. I lost sight of who ‘I’ was underneath all the hats I was wearing.

What did I do? Well, it’s much more about what I didn’t do.

 I took leave from work.

Every single day of the 5 months I had accumulated! You can’t fix a problem while you are in the middle of it. Distancing yourself from the problem can give you time to rest your mind and body, get your energy levels up and enable you to get a new perspective. Don’t be scared to give yourself a break. You are worth it, and the world won’t stop spinning without you. If you were to die today, your job would likely be advertised by the end of the week.

I intentionally let things go.

After a couple of weeks of rest I began to get a clear message, a little voice in my head that said emphatically ‘Don’t add, subtract’. So, I began to let things go…. Unrealistic expectations of myself, friends that were more takers than givers, the habits of daily routine, guilt about not being available for my patients and colleagues. I recall waking up one morning and saying to my husband “I like me now, I remember who I am”. I found myself underneath all the hats I had been wearing. It was extremely liberating. I still follow that guidance.

I drew a line in the sand.
If you want to move into a new future, you need to let go of parts of your past. That’s not to say you don’t acknowledge where the past has gotten you. It’s more about simply making peace with it and deciding which thoughts, feelings and behaviours you want to take with you into the future and then taking inspired action from there. There was no other specialty position of my kind in the area, so I had to make a complete change. There was no turning back. My life from that point onwards is a whole other story, but essentially, once I created space by letting go of the old, wonderful new opportunities and ways of living emerged.

At that point when I was 40 years old and felt worn out, I could have started a gym program, gotten a cleaner, had more frequent weekends away, or added other ‘things’ in my life as an attempt to relieve the exhaustion and stress that I was experiencing. I don’t think any of those things would have been as helpful as what I did instead. It would have been too much, and therefore not enough. Instead, I let go, and chose me.

If you can relate to this and are searching for a way forward, it’s time to put yourself first. If you would like someone to have your back, hold your heart, and kick you in the butt (if needed) while you plan your new journey, reach out. I’d be honoured to be your guide.

Fiona Brown
YOUtopia WELLbeing
0407 727 083